In the business world there are those who are naturally assertive, quick to make decisions and let others know if expectations are out of line, and there are those who are naturally flexible and more inclined to be the giver when compromise is needed.
If you identify with the latter personality, you may find yourself struggling to walk the line between flexibility and becoming what others view as spineless, a pushover, or someone that can be taken advantage of by being given extra assignments, pushed for a better deal by clients, or asked to cover for another’s responsibilities. No one wants to be treated this way in their business relationships. We want to feel valued and respected – and the first step to successful business relations is establishing boundaries early in the relationship that allow for both flexibility and respect.
Boundaries are important in every relationship. You have to know what your limits are – what you need to take care of and what you don’t need to take care of, what you will tolerate and what you won’t tolerate. In the business world, being too flexible or “spineless” can impact not only your ability to do your job effectively, but it can hurt the reputation you earn among coworkers and clients alike.
Whether we are aware of the perception or not – weak boundaries are associated with weak or needy personalities. Strong boundaries are associated with strong, confident people – natural leaders. In addition, strong boundaries can enhance the work environment. For example, a manager who sets a boundary that he must leave work by 5:30 in an office that is used to putting out fires until 6 or 7 pm had to find another way to get it done. Others in the office started setting boundaries as well and the whole work process is now more streamlined and efficient.
Your ability to set boundaries is a direct reflection on how much you respect yourself, your time and your talents. Our behaviors are constantly giving clues to others about how we will allow ourselves to be treated. If you don’t like the way that you’re being treated by someone, don’t blame them, change how you treat yourself. Make your boundary known in a positive way and reinforce it whenever needed. Remember — you are building a foundation for successful and respectful relationships.
Setting boundaries with clients and coworkers is what is best not only for you and your career – it is what is best for the corporation. Boundaries encourage efficiency, keep us from becoming overcommitted and overwhelmed, manage expectations, allow room for appropriate flexibility and create a respectful, balanced atmosphere where employees’ time and efforts are valued.
Even if being assertive doesn’t come easily, you can learn to set boundaries that work within your comfort level – and are a match for your naturally flexible personality, because the best boundaries and solutions work towards a win-win for both parties. One of my favorite books, Crucial Conversations, is a great read and will help with any relationship and looking for a win-win solution.
Remember, opportunities to set boundaries are everywhere, and once you establish your boundaries, learning when and where it makes sense being flexible will come naturally.
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