Everyone has trouble breaking up. Many people speculate on how you know when to break up, how to break up with someone you love, and dealing with the aftermath. Here’s the truth:
- Acting different: At the beginning of every relationship, people typically try to put their best foot forward. Over time, however, their real personality starts to show. Thus, a change is to be expected somewhat. However, if a significant other starts acting very different than who they said they were, it is a sign that something is going wrong. Be wary of undesired traits like stubbornness and abusiveness. These qualities should set off alarm bells.
- Lack of commitment: One of the most important qualities to a healthy relationship is commitment. In every relationship, couples almost always disagree with each other at some point. To get past these disputes and misunderstandings, a certain level of commitment to the relationship is required. If commitment is one-sided and not mutual, the relationship needs work or perhaps a break.
- Lack of communication: Another important quality to a healthy relationship is communication. If a problem presents itself, both sides of the relationship should be able to communicate the problem to each other and, thereby, work towards a solution. With no communication, a relationship will quickly break down with misunderstandings and unsolved problems.
Knowing For Sure
- Do not deny the truth. If the signs of an unhealthy relationship show themselves, do not deny that they exist. Those with low self esteem tend to pretend that there isn’t a problem, hide it, and, over time, only exacerbate the problem. If your significant other is acting differently and showing a lack off commitment and communication, voice your concerns. If he or she is unwilling to work towards a solution and continues to deny that these problems need to be fixed, it is time for you to learn how to break up with someone you love.
- Ask yourself if you communicated enough. Before you start asking how to break up with someone you love, give your significant other a chance to correct the situation. If you tried your best to communicate your problems to your significant other, and he or she is unresponsive or is not willing to work on your relationship, then call it quits. If only one side of the relationship acknowledges that there is a problem and is willing to solve it, than the relationship is unhealthy. After doing everything you can, don’t stick around and hope things get better. Take action and end the relationship.
How To Break Up With Someone You Love Appropriately
- Face to face: Unless the circumstances are extraordinary and you absolutely cannot see your significant other anymore, breaking up face to face is key. Other options are by phone, e-mail, or letter. However, these types of communications are easy to be misread. Many times breaking up face to face is not easier, but it is more thorough and final.
- Communicate. Say what you need to say. At the end of a relationship, it is essential that you still feel good about yourself. To accomplish this, communicate to your significant other that you have reached a place where it’s not working anymore, and stick to what you say. If you’re chicken about facing problems, you end up having regrets.
Dealing With The Aftermath
- There will be grief. The more you are invested in a relationship, the more you will grieve about it after breaking up. A grieving period is only natural. Turn the broken relationship into a learning experience. If you do not learn anything from a failed relationship, then you probably will make the same mistake again. Break ups are hard and the lesson will take longer than a few minutes to learn; however, it is crucial that you do learn from mistakes eventually.
- To break ties or not to break ties: Staying friends is a possibility in the long run, especially if you have kids together. If your children are young, there must be some level of communication between both parents even if it takes some time to be successful. If parents completely break ties their kids feel abandoned and guilty as if it is their faults. Children are all about feelings and cannot reason otherwise. These imprints are very hard to overcome. The only time you should completely break ties after a divorce that involves children is when the relationship was extremely abusive.