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How do you tell your wife "I still love you" after a big fight?

Written By

Mari Lyles

CEO of Renewing Relationships

Briefly Speaking

As the late, great Whitney sang, "I Will Always Love You." Find out how to let your wife know "I still love you" after arguing.
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The Relationship Coaching Institute, of which I am a member, teaches couples the fine art of communicating in constructive ways to avoid huge arguments, fights and hurt feelings, and beautiful love language which relieves one of the guilt and mess of having to make up after yucky accusations and incriminations are flung wildly about in the heat of an argument.

After a big fight, and you find yourself floundering about because perhaps wifey's teeth are still clinched, or she has that hurt little puppy-dog look on her face, or better yet, you spent the night on the couch, it's definitely time for you to reevaluate your approach to arguments. Quite frankly, any argument that anyone has which causes their partner to question a continued loving relationship is a really huge fight and, hopefully, one that won't be repeated ever again.

Having said that, my concern as a coach is more for what the fighting was about; what triggered what response to the point where it escalated perhaps to yelling, screaming, name calling and other misbehavior? Since that wasn't the original question, I'll stay on track. Ugly arguments need cooling off periods to allow partners to clear their spirits and minds and bring perspective and reality back into play. Never allow a cooling off period to be extensive, though, as too much time can often be an enemy instead of an ally, when your partner rehashes over and over again the uglier points brought up in the argument.

Replay the argument in your mind as objectively as possible. Note those places where you strayed from being civil, and where she strayed as well. Note the tension and emotion in those areas, because this is where work needs to be done. After realistically examining your attitude and the causes and results of the argument, let your wife know you'd love the opportunity to sit down and calmly discuss what occurred in order to bring about resolution.

Suggest a quiet place and a time when the two of you won't be interrupted by children, chores, neighbors, family, etc. Be authentic. Regardless of who started the argument, I'm sorry are two of the kindest words in the Universe, and should be followed by, Please forgive me. Saying these words truthfully and meaningfully will pave the way for lovingly making up. If you're thinking,"But she started it," then you need a time out.

Man-up. Understand it doesn't matter who started it, as long as the work is done to make the situation right again. If you can't seriously say "I'm sorry," then wait until you've evaluated the situation a little more. (Again, do NOT let too much time go by.) (If a wife had asked the same question, I'd tell her the same thing. THE POINT IS BRINGING ABOUT RESOLUTION.

When you do begin your discussion, explain how saying "X" made you feel and how you imagine it hurt her; and how hearing "Y" from her wounded you. Ask for her input and suggestions on how to avoid another argument of this type and ways in which the two of you can work to solve whatever problem(s) brought on the argument in the first place. You don't have to say "I still love you" fifty times to get your point across.

However, do let her know how important she is to you and how blessed you feel to have her as a wife - that she is the air you breathe. Assure her of the fact that you will make whatever changes needed to keep peace in your family and the marriage intact. (Hopefully, this discussion proceeds to the point where there is give and take on both sides, and you're not left feeling resentful that you're the one who's made all the concessions.

P.S. Flowers and perfume a day or two later wouldn't hurt!

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12 Reader Comments Share your thoughts.

    Emma Russell 2 weeks ago
    I saw a testimony of Nadezhda Vyacheslav on how she got that guy to love her as she did him.Though i don't know her, i believed her cos she said Mutton Osun a spell caster help her seen it happen.I didn't believe her cos she used a spell i believed her cos she made mention of a mutual spell caster i know of that is mutton Osun. I have also see a lot of testimony about his work on the the internet on blog pages and so on.I literally took a lip of faith to contact him and it turn out that it paid off.In my own case i didn't ask that him to make anyone fall in love with me or ask that my cheating wife comes back.This time i was at fault i messed up.Will really like to say it was an honest mistake or a few hours or days of weakness but then i will be insulting my wife and the love i feel for her.I was in full control of what i was doing i had the choice not to cheat but i still did. She didn't find out by herself i told hoping if i told her how sorry i am and how much i still love and want to be with her despite my betray she will forgive completely.It was the biggest mistake of my life maybe i should not have told her, i guess she would have still found out if she didn't catch me then i bet the other lady would have told her what was going on to destroy what me and my wife had.It was obvious my betray really hurt her i could she it in her eye and i was really sorry.That is why i wasn't so surprise when she asked that we go our separate ways.There and then i realized that i was following the part that ruined my life and my family.I literally lead four month of my life in misery.I have never felt like i needed her like i had felt begging was not an option nothing was an option cos she was gone.It was right about that time Mutton Osun came into the picture or when i asked that he help me get my wife to love as she did before.I was able to provide the items he asked that i get for the spell and send then down to him.Like Nadezhda Vyacheslav said "the spell does become effective at once that " she was right also cos just after i did what Mutton Osun asked me to do with what he sent me, it took 7 days before anything happened i even thought for a minute that i had met a fake spell caster but in the end i am happy with my wife again.We going to be renewing our vows on the 20th of September. I was on the edge of become a walking dead a woman with nothing to live for thank my star Mutton Osun helped.I will also leave his contact for those who thing he can help them { godsofosunx@rocketmail.com }
    dora lawson 9 weeks ago
    Hello i am MISS DORA LAWSON,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how i got my husband back.I was going crazy, mad and confuse. when my husband left me for another woman last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR ADAGBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to DR ADAGBA about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my lovely husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR ADAGBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on:adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com and get your problems solve like me, call him via 2348115200304
    deborah 12 weeks ago
    I don't know anything about magic or how he does it, but ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com is on the top of my personal list of "go-to people" when I find myself in a quandary or a disappointment regarding my love life. That is the most important part of life, in my opinion, and I was really going through a tough time with my husband of 5 years. It was really rough-going for several years before I finally got the kind of help I needed. I never would have thought I would have gone to a necromancer, but Ekaka is more than just about "spells": He is a caring, deeply evolved human being with great sensitivity, and if it were not for him, I am totally certain my husband and I would be each other's "ex" on this very day. I love Dr Ekaka!
    Mateja Leon 25 weeks ago
    This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article, if to tell the world.I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story.I live in Bordeaux, France with my husband and four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn't always just like that.Before my husband, i have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was the worst time of my live.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn't just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hard in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he's got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six months as always he just wanted out as every other man that i was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband i was willing to fight for it marriage but they bluntly weren't ready for that.But this, i just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I Honestly don't know how and when i contacted a spell caster to help me.His name was Mutton i think he was of great help cos i honest remember that i think he helped me save my marriage.I say i think cos its being one year and six months exactly since he cast a spell to make my husband stay till dead do us part and my husband is still with me now and we are happy and in love just like how we were for the first six months.I will be fully convinced if we get to celebrity our 50th year anniversary.I don't want any body to see this article like it was meant to make you contact him.I am just sharing my experience on how Mutton helped me restore my marriage with spell casting and i should tell you he does not charge for his services all you are to do is to provide materials he will be needing for the spell casting.If you feel he can help you solve any of your problem contact him here godsofosunx@rocketmail. com this was what i used to contact him good luck.
    kess.clara349 33 weeks ago
    i am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, i want you all to know that their is one man called Dr. Kuma that work for me and after 2days of his spell. my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same man's help so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true. via kumalovespell@gmail.com he can help you without any delay.
    kess.clara349 33 weeks ago
    i am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, i want you all to know that their is one man called Dr. Kuma that work for me and after 2days of his spell. my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same man's help so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true. via kumalovespell@gmail.com he can help you without any delay.
    Asle Holmer 37 weeks ago
    I hate to say this i have to cos even of it feels wrong its something i had to do.Some people say if a door closes another opens but i say that is just a fancy way of dealing with the pain we feel cos really if we loss something or someone so dear, we can never really get a replacement cos nothing will ever seem to fit.Well that was just how i felt when my wife wanted out of a eleven years marriage with beautiful kids.As ashamed and as sorry as i am, it was alll my fault.I made our marriage almost come to an end but glade it didn't all thinks to Mutton Osun a magic guy or rather spell caster as most people call it online.Its amazing how one mistake can take away all you have worked hard for in just a blink.Just a moment of weakness that made me cheat on my wife, would have been the end of all my happiness and my family.Most people reading this may think a guy cheats on his wife and does all he can not to loss her.I know what come to the mind first is, if he really loved her as he claim why cheat in the first place? Honestly for experience you just don't make up your mind to want to be unfaithful to your other half ie wife or girlfriend, it just happens like something or lets say some kind of impulse just take control and make you do even when at that moment you know you gonna regret it forever.This is how best i can explain it but i know one thing after i did it, i realized how much i loved my wife and at the same time how much i betrayed her. It didn't stay hiden for so long she found out and she lost it all isaw it clearly she still loved me so much cos in her eyes all i could see was deep pain and a thick cut in her heart even when she kicked me out and wanted a divorce.I lovec this woman with all my heart heart and was really not going to let her go.As i said i asked a spell caster Mutton Osun to help me restore my marriage and my life cos really he was my last option to happiness again. His spell made the subconscious of her that always loved me selflessly surface again as he explained what ever he did help a lot as other article i read about him said, he only asks for materials for the spell and if it may arise extra money to ship the spell package to you. He is honest and trustworthy one of the only good help out there. IF you may contact do it with this email godsofosunx @ rocketmail. com
    Mackenzie Mason 45 weeks ago
    How do you see spell casting? As a fake thing, as a story or maybe as an ideal part of an imagination?Before you finally conculde on how you see or what you thing i will advice that you conduct a research and i mean a good research on spell casting and its history then maybe then you will finally come to know the true power of spell casting that we all underrate.I once had and shared this logical believe before fate fate and my marriage problem made me realize that spell casting is as real as a baby coming out of vagina.In the sense that as impossible as it may seem to you there is a 90% certainty that it works and works well.But you should know there are some fake among the real and honest ones.I was so fortunate to meet a real and honest one just as i thought to give spell casting a shot.H is all over every blogging page and broken relationship sites MUTTON OSUN.MUTTON OSUN IS ONE OF THE GREATEST THERE IS.I am not just trying to make you fell like you must contact him , is only trying to express how excellent is work is.Trust me i experienced it first hand.Having a sex addicted as a husband is worse than having a cheating husband.Knowing that he loves you with all hes got but can help but can to cheat on you.I know some will rather suggest a rehab , but just to clear the air he checked into rehab four times and was discharged with a report saying he was well but really outside rehab he was back to being an addict of sex.I hated to see that my husband never stopped loving me but couldn't help but but to cheat on me.W had four kids two teens and two other young one age five and seven.It will be ugly to know that there father i a sex addict that can't help but to cheat on me and still dear to say he love me.Only understood but it as all the same tearing my home down just thing about my husband making love to random women that is not me.We could even had gotten infected with some deadly S.T.D or S.T.I i was ready to live him and take my children along with me.But living the man i love just cos he had a problem was coming to hunt me for he rest of my life so by miracle or by fate rather i read about MUTTON OSUN on the internet.I read about like ten article about how he saved so many people marriages and relationships though my case was different i just felt like he can help me.I just had to let all my thought about spell casting go and i brought myself to contact him.It cos of MUTTON OSUN my husband is back to how i and even himself want him to be i mean making love to no other woman but me.I just need some material that he asked me to bring to cast the spell.Believe me it will be better for you to ask him to get the materials for you off course with the money you will be sending cos looking for it yourself will be a total waste of time resources and even energy.you should know you must trust him.What ever he ask you to bring just provide it cos his reason are aretrue.At a time i felt like he was trying to me extort me but i turned out that i was wrong he made understand he was only trying to help complete the worked i asked him to help me do.All thank to the spell prepared by MUTTON OSUN it save my marriage and family.I will live his email address here for you to contact him for help of any sort.godsofosunx@rocketmail.com
    Ian Blake 46 weeks ago
    Reading Eva-Yolanda article about a spell caster namely Mutton Osun was, i will say the best that ever happen to me this year based on the fact that i had a lot problem that i was trying to over come.I had problems at home which affected my work greatly. I was now always in a cross fire with my boss.I really don't want to tell story here so i guess i would just go strange to the point on what i have to say.My wife wanted out of our marriage for no just reason.We were married for four year and i think we were happy though we had no kids, it was her idea not to have any cos she wasn't ready to be a mom yet and i was okay with it i mean i didn't like the idea but i went along with it just to please her.It was always like that i mean she always get what she wants.All i wanted was to see her happy i could never do anything that will make her so unhappy.This was all i did wrong that is make her have it her way all the time. I mean that was the reason she gave during our therapy session.She wanted out of the marriage cos i was to nice. From what she said, i was the kind of man ever woman will die for but she wanted a real man to enforce his will no her meaning was i was to week a man for her.And that was the least of therapy session we had cos like she said we where wasting our life together and no amount of therapy was going to get us back together.I was a total mess thinking of how i was being dumped based on how much i loved my wife and how good i treated her,I really didn't know if she was ungrateful or just confused about what she wanted that is mid-life crisis but the bottom line is that she left me and who knows maybe for another man.I was still in love with her, she was the love of my life and i still wanted her to come back that was when i saw Eva-Yolanda article on Mutton Osun.When i contacted him he made me known that i will have to go through all the spell casting process.Like he said most people are too scared cos of trust issues.I had trust issues, but getting my wife back was my ulterior motive and from my experience with Muton Osun i can tell you he is 100% truthful and honest with his customer.I was asked to get some material to prepare the spell and after which he sent me a package contain the spell and the rest just happen the way it was suppose to happen i got my wife back and she was my wife back again i mean she was not that woman who wanted a hard man she was woman i fell in love with who loved me cos i am me.If you want help or fell he can help contact him with his email address godsofosunx@rocketmail.com
    TUCKER 51 weeks ago
    THE GREAT DR AIDO WHO BROUGHT MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME IN JUST ONE DAY.My name is JUAN ESCOBAR I live in USA, and i got married four months ago. My husband and I have been living a very happy and lovely life. So as time went on, I began to notice this strange attitude that he was possessing. He was now going out with other girls, to the extent that he was no longer picking up my calls, and he was not even sleeping in the house anymore. I became confused and didn’t know what to do anymore. So i became worried and stranded, that brought so many thoughts into my mind, because I have never experienced a thing like this in my life.So I decided to visit a spell caster, to see if he can help me out. So immediately I went to the internet, where I saw an amazing testimony of a spell caster who brought someone’s ex lover back, “DR AIDO” so I contacted him immediately and I explained to him all my problems and he told me that it will be very easy for him to solve, compare to the ones that he has done before. And he also gave me some proof to be really sure of his work, and he assured me that my husband will come back to me as soon as he is through with the spell casting.And also he told me to put all my trust in him, and I really obeyed him. So it was 8:00 am on the next morning, when I was about going to work, when i received my husband call, and he told me that he was coming back home, and he was apologizing to me telling me that he is very sorry for the pain that he has cost me. And after some hours later, he really came back home, and that was how we continued our marriage with lot of love and happiness, and our love was now stronger than how it were before.DR AIDO also told me that once my heart desire has been granted unto me that i should go and testify of his work right here on the internet. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth today as I am writing this testimony, and I want to really thank “DR AIDO” for bringing back my husband, and for bringing joy and love to my family. So my greatest advice for you out there who your husband or your wife is acting strange, or you have any problem with your relationship or anything that has to do with spell casting,He is capable of solving any problems.All you need do is for you to contact this man anytime, and i assure you that he will be of help to you,I am 100% sure that he will solve it out.

    CONTACT HIM NOW ON THIS
    Email: draidospelltemple@gmail.com or call +2347056298538.